Myth vs. Fact

Rape myths exist for many different purposes. They exist in order to make people feel safe and maintain a view of the world that is orderly and just. For instance, if one believes that rape only happens to women who do not resist "enough", it is easy for the believer to feel safe because she certainly would resist "enough." This type of myth provides a false sense of security for many people. Other myths exist to maintain the present inequality between men and women. As an illustration, the myth that women who wear revealing clothing are raped allows people to believe that wearing revealing clothing provokes men to rape; therefore, women should dress in order to prevent such provocation, which limits women and their choices. Rape myths are not only prevalent in our society, but also confuse and distort the realities of this crime as well as create a harmful environment in which victims are blamed for the assault. Anyone can be raped and no one is free from sexual violence. Educate yourself about the impact these myths have on our society and confront them whenever you hear them.

Myth: Only certain "types" of women are raped.

Fact: No woman is safe from a rape attempt. Any woman of any age, race, class religion, occupation, physical disability, sexual identity, or appearance can be raped. Four-month old infants and women in their 90's, women heavily dressed for arctic chill or lightly dressed for summer, have been sexually assaulted. Recent studies indicate one in four women will be sexually assaulted in this country.

Myth: Only females can be sexually assaulted.

Fact: Both males and females are sexually assaulted everyday. Men have just as much a right as woman to say no to any sexual activity they do not want, and if they are threatened or forced to have sex, they have been sexually assaulted.

Myth: It is impossible for a husband to sexually assault his wife.

Fact: Regardless of marital or social relationship, if a woman does not consent to sexual activity, she is being sexually assaulted. Rape in marriage is an extremely prevalent form of sexual violence, particularly when we consider that women who are involved in physically abusive relationships may be especially vulnerable to rape by their partners.

Myth: Sexual assault is an impulsive act.

Fact: Most rapes are wholly or partially planned. About 50% occur in either the victim's or assailant's home. Rape is a brutal act of violence rather than an act of passion or sexual gratification.

Myth: Victims who do not physically resist sexual assault are to blame for their sexual assault.

Fact: During a sexual assault, most victims are in fear for their lives, or are in fear of being hurt even more. Victims make the best decisions they can in order to preserve their safety, and if a victim does not fight back, it does not change that the perpetrator is at fault for the sexual assault.

Myth: Most rapists are abnormal, sex-crazed, perverted, or crazy.

Fact: Most rapists are normal, average, ordinary people. They may have normal long-term relationships with their partner, may be married, and may have children. Perpetrators come from all different backgrounds. Most assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. They are not crazy or in need of sexual fulfillment, but feel the need to overpower and control someone sexually.

Myth: Women who party hard, drink and do drugs are setting themselves up to be raped.

Fact: Nobody deliberately "sets up" herself to be raped. Rape is a choice made by the rapist. Because alcohol and drugs may affect judgment, feelings, perceptions, and lower inhibitions, women may be in a more vulnerable position when they drink and a perpetrator may take advantage of that vulnerability, however, it is not her drinking or doing drugs that causes sexual assault. Wearing particular clothes, naive, poor judgment, shyness, even reckless behavior, is not a rape-able offense. The only person to blame for a sexual assault is a perpetrator, and the only person who can prevent a sexual assault is a perpetrator. No behavior ever justifies someone being sexually assaulted, and even if someone takes all precautionary measures, he/she is still not fully protected from being sexually assaulted.

Myth: Only persons who dress or act in a "sexy" way are raped.

Fact: This myth exists because people view rape as a sexually motivated crime. Again, it is not. Rape is a crime of power, perpetrated by people who find gratification in overpowering. It doesn't matter how sexy or attractive the victim is perceived as being. Rape is not a beauty contest. Assailants often choose victims who seem most vulnerable to attack: older persons, children, persons with a disability, substance abusers etc...

Myth: If a person just relaxes, it will all be over with soon. She/he might even find it isn't so bad after all.

Fact: No one asks a robbery victim to "relax and enjoy it." Rape is violence using sex as a weapon. Survivors of sexual violence feel very clearly that rape and consensual sex are worlds apart. Rape involves persistent pressure, taking advantage of a person's inability to say "no", calculated drugging with alcohol or other substances, and/or threats, sometimes against the person's life or even family members or friends. Many survivors recall being in fear for their lives, even if a weapon was not present. Violating a person's bodily integrity by not giving them a choice over their body is a crime, it is not something to relax over.

Myth: In most cases, black men attack white women.

Fact: In most sexual assault cases, the assailant and his victim are of the same racial background. This myth is a reflection of the pervasive racism that exists in our society. This myth was created and sustained by white supremacy during slavery and into the civil rights movement. This myth was established to justify inexcusable acts of violence and terror inflicted upon black men by the white majority, such as lynching. In addition, while black men were disproportionately accused and charged by white men of raping white women, black women were routinely sexually assaulted and raped by white slave owners. During slavery, the rape of a black woman by a white man was not even considered rape-it was the white man's property right. The historical roots of this offensive myth are still with us today. We must educate others and speak out against violence, racism, and sexism.

Myth: A rapist is easy to spot in a crowd.

Fact: There is nothing about individuals who rape which distinguishes them from others, including their psychological profiles. Rapists come from all races, ethnic or socioeconomic groups. They can be large or small, able-bodied or disabled, married or single. What we do know is that most rapists identify as heterosexual, even if their victims are male, and they rarely go to jail for their first offense; in fact, studies of adolescent offenders indicate that most began committing sexual assaults when they were very young.

Myth: Most women "cry rape" or lie about being raped.

Fact: This myth is one of the most harmful myths in our society. If we believe that all women are lying about rape, it becomes that much easier to believe that rape doesn't happen in our communities and that it won't happen to us or our loved ones. While this may be comforting to us, that comfort comes at a high price. Believing in this myth prevents us from looking at the perpetrators behavior, actions, and decisions and we are less likely to hold them accountable. We are also less likely to believe a survivor when they come forward. This climate of disbelief is just one more obstacle victims have to overcome to report the crime. It is important to remember that it is much more likely for someone to have been sexually assaulted and never report it, rather than make a false report.

Myth: There is a "point of no return" in which men are physically not able to stop having sex.

Fact: While it certainly can be uncomfortable to slow down or stop sexual activity, it is not physically impossible. We all have control over our body and what we do with our bodies and when a partner asks us to stop, or needs to slow down it is our responsibility to decide to respect their wishes. Imagine a scenario: You're in high school, your girlfriend's parents are gone for the evening, and you both decide that you want to have sex. You reach that "point of no return" (wherever this may be for you) and suddenly the front door opens and in walks your girlfriend's parents. Now, are you going to decide to stop or are you going to say, "wait one second, I am beyond the point of no return, it is physically impossible for me to stop." Of course you both would decide to stop what you were doing, and it should be no different if your partner is the one asking you to stop. Besides, thinking that men are servants to their sex drive, or that they are ready for sex 24/7, is not a compliment to men, it's an insult to all the men who respect their partner and know that they do have control over their actions and their body.

Myth: A person who has really been assaulted will be hysterical.

Fact: Survivors exhibit a spectrum of emotional responses to assault: calm, hysteria, laughter, anger, apathy, shock. Each survivor copes with the trauma of the assault in a different way. Reactions do not prove or disprove that an assault occurred.

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