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Grounding Techniques for Survivors
Many survivors find it difficult to cope with the flashbacks, nightmares,
anxiety, and fear that may result from the abuse. Below are some tips and
strategies that you can use to ground yourself when you are experiencing these
symptoms. They can help you heal by keeping you in the moment and creating a
sense of safety for you. At a later time, when you are feeling safe, a counselor
can help you to address the feelings that are bringing on these symptoms. You
may find that some of these suggestions work easier for you than others. Use the
ones you like and leave the rest. No one suggestion will work for every person.
It takes hard work to learn to cope with these feelings, but you are capable of
understanding them.
Flashbacks
Flashbacks occur when a trigger causes you to remember what happened. A
flashback can be a terribly frightening experience, involving all of the senses.
Many survivors say that they can see, hear, smell and feel everything that had
happened to them during a flashback. After a traumatic experience, it is not
unusual to block part of the memory, banish it from consciousness. Sometimes a
forgotten memory of rape or abuse will resurface in the form of a flashback,
which can be particularly terrifying and confusing. If you are having
flashbacks, find a safe place to think about them or talk about them. You can
also try the strategies below.
Dealing with Flashbacks
- Recognize what triggers flashbacks for you. Triggers are all personal to
your experience. Identifying and eliminating the ones you can, may keep them
from recurring as often.
- Keep a flashback diary to help process your feelings in relation to the
flashback.
- Carry something to hold onto, like a rock or a keepsake, so that if you
have a flashback, you can hold it in your hand-it can help provide a sense of
stability.
- Take a deep breath, exhale slowly. Try to remind yourself of your
surroundings... name things in your environment out loud... open your eyes and
look around... tell yourself you are safe. Keep doing this until you feel
better.
- After the flashback is over, try to understand it. They can be very scary,
but understanding them can help you understand your feelings better. Call the
SAC or a supportive friend who can listen.
Sleeping and Nightmares
You may have trouble falling asleep and if you are able to fall asleep you
may be re-awakened by nightmares. This is a very common response to the trauma
that you have endured. Sleeping can be a very vulnerable time for everyone
because we are not aware of our surroundings. It can be especially difficult for
survivors who were assaulted or abused while they were sleeping. Hopefully these
ideas will be helpful to you and if you still have trouble sleeping, you can
always call the helpline no matter what time of night it is.
Sleeping Tips
- Use your bedroom for sleeping only. If you live in a dorm or at home, try
to use your desk for activities like studying and reading.
- Make bedtime a ritual, Do the same thing before bed each night (meditate,
stretch, listen to calming music, take a hot bath) This can help signal your
body that it is time to relax and that sleep is coming soon.
- Avoid caffeinated beverages in the afternoon.
- Avoid exciting activities before bed.
- Lock your bedroom door if it helps you feel safe... or imagine friends and
family standing outside of it protecting you.
- Relax each muscle, starting with your feet and working up to the rest of
your body... even the muscles in your face can be relaxed. Envision the stress
and anxiety just pouring out of you.
- Sleep with a stuffed animal. It isn't silly... if it helps, go with it!
- If you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, make sure a quiet,
relaxing or mundane activity is available to you. Try doing that instead of
lying in bed awake.
Dealing with Nightmares
- When you wake up, write the nightmare down or try drawing it.
- Try to imagine the nightmare ending differently. For instance, maybe you
dream that there is someone outside your door, look around and wake up enough
to feel safe. Then put your head down and imagine that a dog is chasing the
attacker out of the house.
- Sometimes you might be able to consciously control your dream without ever
waking up.
- Talk about them with a trusted friend or counselor. Talking about them can
give them less control over us.
- Try to understand them. They can be an important part of healing. You can
try to understand them by just thinking about what the nightmare meant to you,
or by looking at dream books to find the symbolism in them.
Panic Attacks
A panic or anxiety attack is a radical and quick acting physiological
reaction the human body can have when we feel fear. It can be very overwhelming
and come without warning. If you have them, you are not alone. Some symptoms of
a panic attack can include rapid heart beat, difficulty breathing or catching
your breath, shaking, tense muscles, your mouth may become dry or you may find
it difficult to swallow. These are just a few examples of how the body responds
to a panic attack.
Dealing with Panic Attacks
- You may fear having one in public, at work or school etc. However, there
are few outward symptoms. If you are scared of having one in public give
yourself permission to go to the bathroom and spend some time by yourself.
- Think about what things you are doing that alleviate your fear... does
talking to yourself help, what about deep breathing, or laying down? Explore
what options work best for you and practice them when you feel a panic attack
coming on.
- Remember, many people experience panic attacks. This is not unusual or
weird behavior.
- If you are going to be in a stressful situation and fear panicking, it may
help to visualize yourself going through the experience calmly before it
actually occurs.
More Ideas
- Keep a journal. This can be a good way to help process your thoughts and
when you look back on old entries you can see how far you have come.
- When you get angry don't be afraid of it. Rip an old newspaper to shreds.
Stomp all over a pillow. Run in place. Throw safe objects that aren't
breakable into other safe spaces, stomp your feet, yell, scream into your
pillow. Do whatever it takes to get the anger out.
- Count to yourself, clap your hands, blink your eyes hard
- Say positive affirmations to yourself
- Listen to a soothing tape, wash your face with cold water, take a hot
bath, perform a monotonous activity.
- Use deep breathing, concentrate on every breath in and out.
Bibliotherapy
Sometimes reading stories, poems, biographies, or educational books can help
us understand our own experiences. We may find that we experience the same
feelings as the author of a book, or a character in a book and can relate to
their stories. There are many fiction and non-fiction books that focus on sexual
violence and abuse. Click here for a list of books ranging from fiction,
non-fiction, autobiographies, and poetry.
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